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Adoption Unfiltered

Available now by Rowman & Littlefield Publishers

Adoption Unfiltered authors Sara Easterly (adoptee), Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard (birth parent), and Lori Holden (adoptive parent) interview dozens of adoptees, birth parents, adoptive parents, social workers, therapists, and other allies—all sharing candidly about the challenges in adoption. While finding common ground in the sometimes-contentious space of adoption may seem like a lofty goal, it reveals the authors’ optimistic aim: working together with truth and transparency to move toward healing.

Healing isn’t possible, though, without first uncovering the hurts—starting with adoption’s central players: adoptees, who are so often in pain, suffering from what the latest brain science validates as the long-term emotional effects of separation trauma. By encouraging others to vulnerably share their stories, the authors discover that adoptees aren’t the only ones in the adoption constellation who are hurting. Birth parents regularly shut down after being shut out by adoptive parents. Adoptive parents often struggle with unique parenting challenges and hidden insecurity, feeling the need to hide the fact that they are not the Super Parents they led the agency to believe they would be. Across the industry as a whole, misinformed and even unethical practices abound.

Adoption Unfiltered models the importance of adults in adoption working together in the spirit of curiosity and empathy—to better support adoptees and their first and adoptive families.

I think Adoption Unfiltered is one of the most important texts I’ve read re: the experience of adoption.

Not only does it center adoptee voices, making them the focal point throughout, it also gives elevation to birth parents and expertly utilizes adoptive parent voices in ways that do not overshadow or undermine the voices of the other two groups.

Additionally, the book serves as a model of what it can look like for these three separate parts of the community to work together to create something constructive that moves the discourse around adoption forward while elevating adoptees and birth parents in the narrative that often does the opposite.

I learned a lot from Kelsey’s section, as I am currently navigating my own “reunion” situation with my birth mother, and hearing the perspectives of other birth moms was particularly powerful for me.

I also saw a lot of friends pop up in Sara’s section about the adoptee experience.

The book is out wherever you get books! I could not recommend it enough, especially for adoptive parents and prospective adoptive parents.

—Patrick Samuel Yung Armstrong

Top 5 Adoption Books of all time
Adoption Unfiltered is a necessary resource in the adoption community. To hear from all three sides of the adoption triad in one book is groundbreaking and ensures that those reading this can find representation.

The book did a great job of covering all the major issues prevalent in the current adoption industry and provided ample sources and citations for all their claims. I would highly recommend this book to anyone that is beginning their adoption journey, or if you have been in this community for awhile and want a good resource to look back on (which is what I plan to use it for once I annotate it).

Overall the book is well written and incredibly insightful and includes collaborations from a diverse set of constellation members. As an adoptee myself I resonated deeply with Sara and Kelsey’s sections. I believe it took a lot of emotional energy and effort to write their experiences with such transparency and I am thankful for both of their voices.

—Amazon Customer

A more complete perspective
My brother was adopted as a baby and so he has always been my brother. It therefore never occurred to me that he might have innate feelings of loss from the experience. This book was both accessible and thought-provoking, and helped me better understood how he and I actually have different feelings about our origins. Highly recommended!

—MM

Mind- and Heart-Stretching
This book’s mind- and heart-stretching.

Still, Adoption Unfiltered may not be for you. If your solidified view on the adoption of human beings lands on either extreme end of the pro- or con-adoption continuum, it may challenge you uncomfortably.

BUT . . . If you’re open to hearing the experiences of many as they travel this lifelong path, I trust you’ll find these accounts eye-opening and compassion-building. And if you’re in that often lonely forest yourself, you’ll find family on its pages.

The accounts inside are mostly told by those whose adoption stories have been cooking awhile, who have devoted themselves to making sense of them, and who are in various stages of doing so. Though you may not agree with some of these speakers’ interpretations of their lives’ or cultures’ raw data, I’d bet my right leg that you’ll come away from the contents wiser and more thoughtful about the deep and complicated personal, collective, and spiritual implications of adoption.

It’s a powerful book, with the potential to grow readers’ understanding, wisdom, and mercy. It certainly did mine. Too, despite the frequent failures of people and systems in these narratives, Love’s potential and promise for identity, healing, belonging, and peace prevail.

—Cherb

This collaborative effort is one of the best I’ve seen in the adoption community!
As an adult adoptee, I can appreciate reading the words of all members of the constellation. I seem to learn something new each time and come to understand things better though I may not always agree. I found Adoption Unfiltered to be well organized, thoughtful, purposeful and centered on the adoptee’s lived experience. This collaborative effort is one of the best I’ve seen in the adoption community! I appreciate how Sara, Kelsey and Lori model what coming together in a meaningful way positively impacts adoptees, birth parents, adoptive parents and mainstream. I trust that readers from all walks of life will remain open when reading this stellar co-authored book in the hopes of discovering different perspectives by all of those affected by relinquishment and adoption.

—Jennifer Ghoston

Finally centering Adoptees!!!
I’m speechless.

This book is a game changer.

This is how the narrative of adoption is going to change.

As an adoptee, it is absolutely humbling, affirming and encouraging to hear the voices of the most important people in the Adoption Constellation.

Who would have thought an adoptee, a birth/first mom and an adoptive mother could speak so much truth to adoption:

It’s trauma.
It’s lifelong impact.
It’s “both and”.
It’s stories.
It’s secrecy.
It’s rawness.
It’s power and pain.
It’s complicated layers…..but this book has done it.

—Ana VanderPol

Must Read
Adoption Unfiltered is a must read. As both an adoptee and psychotherapist, this book has swiftly become my recommended resource. From the beginning intro by Dr. Joyce Pavao, an adoptee, and the first chapters by Sara Easterly, an adoptee, Adoption Unfiltered appropriately centers the adoptee’s voice, which is rare in the adoption community that tends to center the voice of adoptive parents and professionals. Each authors’ part is honest, warm, and thorough. So many note taking moments and times of grabbing my tissue box to wipe away tears! Well researched is an understatement as evidenced by the book’s extensive resources, notes, bibliography, and index – whoa, it is truly a treasure trove. Lastly, as illustrated by the diagram of the adoption constellation, Adoption Unfiltered is – of course – for adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents, but also for many, many others that need current information about adoption in order to act lovingly, responsibly, and intelligently in regards to care and policy.

—KMurphy

Rose Colored Glasses about Adoption – Removed.
I am not adopted, nor have I adopted a child – and yet, this book spoke to me as a mother, as a friend, as a person striving to be an adoptive ally. The personal stories, the hard truths about how our broad cultural, religious, and local community views of adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents do not hold the full weight of what adoption means and how it shapes the lives of each person in the “adoption constellation”. These are powerful stories that will help shape how we can care for one another and listen to each story for the story it is, rather than the story we’re told it should be.

—R Detrick

This is the most important book for modern adoption
This book will change generations. It was so incredible to see SO many voices in one book to share the complexities and nuance of lived experiences. It is so well researched, so personal and written by some of the best authors in adoption writings. You won’t be sorry.

—Big Tough Girl

A Fuller Picture of the Complexities of Adoption
I learned a lot while reading this book and am very grateful to the authors for their willingness to come together as an adoptee, birth parent, and adoptive parent to give a fuller picture of the complexities of adoption. I especially appreciated the uncomfortable passages about how adoption has been misconstrued in religious circles, and the damage that has caused so many by minimizing the deep grief involved. This book is a wonderful resource in bringing nuance to this conversation for all those touched by adoption.

—Kendra Broekhuis

A valuable and important resource
I’m an adoptive parent and would highly recommend this book. It’s brilliant, well-researched, and thought-provoking.

The first of its kind, this book serves as an outstanding resource for anyone in the adoption constellation. It asks us to take a closer look at the complexities of adoption, the variety of thoughts and feelings of adoptees, adoptive parents, and birth parents. In each section, the reader can sense the individual author’s voice and that they’re speaking from a place of transparency, warmth, dedication, and the importance of their perspective.

I’m so glad this is available and hope that each person who reads it finds something that resonates and increases their understanding.

—Mary L. Hinckley

Read this book!
I have read SO MANY books about adoption, the history of adoption, adoption policy in America. And this is the first book I know of that brings together the voices of adoptees, birth mothers and adoptive parents. These collective voices, in conversation, are powerful and so needed!

—Rebecca Wellington

If you think you know about adoption, you need to read the book!
Adoption World – This is an important book for everyone impacted by adoption. There are so many revelations about adoption that are widely overlooked, misunderstood, or outright ignored. If you know an adoptee, a birth parent or an adoptive parent, this book is for YOU ( not just them). This is an excellent resource for YOU to deepen your knowledge and educate yourself about adoption. You thought you knew, but I guarantee there is something in this book that will blow your mind. As an adoptee and former adoption social worker, I recommend this gem. I have read it and appreciate how carefully, thoughtfully and directly it was written. Sara Easterly is a fantastic writer. Please support this important work.

—Natasha

Essential Reading for Everyone Affected by Adoption!
This book is groundbreaking. It presents the viewpoints of every member of the adoption triad – adoptee, birthparent, adoptive parent. Each view is comprehensive, thought provoking, and considerate of the other perspectives.

I read it slowly and carefully because there was so much richness in each of the sections. As an adoptive parent who also works in adoption, I am very well informed on these issues. And yet, I was challenged to think about my (adopted) children’s experiences in new ways by Sara’s thought provoking chapters, particularly those on alarm.

As an adoption professional, I sometimes have the privilege of working with birth parents who placed children long ago. In this role I often look for writing to recommend that describes the experience of relinquishing a child in a way that will help these birth parents feel seen and understood. Kelsey’s chapters present her and other’s experiences so respectfully and impassionedly. From this point forward, I will always strongly recommend that birth parents read Adoption Unfiltered.

And Lori’s section on the adoptive parent perspective is indispensable to those of us in the trenches, raising children who joined our families through adoption. Personally and professionally, Lori speaks to my experience and that of the adoptive parents with whom I have the privilege of working. Again, this is going to be the first book I recommend for anyone parenting through adoption, as well as their families and friends.

Thank you so much for providing such an incredible resource!

—Michelle

Groundbreaking: An essential read for anyone within the adoption constellation
Finally, a book that centers adoptee voices, and does so in tandem with birth parent and adoptive parent voices through shared narrative. This inclusive framework normalizes the adoption experience, offering insights that are raw, deeply resonant and humbling. Adoption Unfiltered doesn’t shy away from tough topics, addressing stereotypes, power differentials, cultural assumptions and issues related to adoption that are often overlooked or misunderstood. As a mental health professional and adoptive parent, I was challenged to reflect on my own discomfort as I journeyed through the differing perspectives.

Extremely well-researched and cited, Adoption Unfiltered also includes excerpts from interviews with 50 adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents, which I thought provided authenticity and depth of perspective.

Easterly, Ranyard and Holden have created a compassionate and insightful masterpiece that not only educates but also inspires with a clear call to action for systems change. For adoption professionals and for anyone within the adoption constellation, I recommend this book as an essential read.

—Amazon Customer

Inclusive, insightful and in-depth perspectives on the adoption constellation
Adoption Unfiltered prompts profound thinking about the various perspectives in the “adoption constellation”, primarily focusing on the Adoptee, the Birth Mother and the Adoptive Parents. Rather than focusing on just one of these aspects of the adoption triad, this book weaves these perspectives together and touches on those beyond to include a multitude of previously ignored stakeholders in the adoption process. Going deeper than the feelgood stories of much adoption literature, Adoption Unfiltered confronts the trauma involved for all stakeholders, as well as historical ignorance and abuse in our adoption system. Refusing to merely dwell on these difficult realities, the book discusses how we can continue to make the adoption process more ethical and inclusive.

As noted, a wide variety of stakeholders are touched upon here. Further follow-up research could include more extensive discussion on the roles and impacts of adoption on birth-fathers and -families as well as adoptive siblings. I look forward to hearing more on such topics from this trio of enlightened and captivating authors.

This book raises critical questions and challenges on our beliefs and assumptions on the topic, as all good non-fiction should. Some of our beliefs and values around adoption may be strengthened, while many may be stimulated to grow and evolve to create more healthy relationships for all in the constellation. Adoption Unfiltered offers a way forward on improving the adoption environment through empathy, openness and compassionate communication.

—Roger Dowd

Comprehensive adoptee focused information
This book has provided me with a lot of valuable stories and data to help me support and understand those in my life who are part of adoptive constellations. Its focus on adoptee stories and experiences offers a balance out to the popular narratives about adoptees that ignore the complexity of the experience. I’d highly recommend this to anyone considering adoption, adoptees looking to deepen understanding of how that experience impacts their lives, and birth parents looking for hope.

—Eileen Barnes

The complexity of the journey – start the healing with the voices of the constellation
Adoption Unfiltered is a must-read for anyone considering or involved in the adoption process. This will be one is those seminal books in the field as it offers valuable insights and guidance for navigating the complexities of the adoption journey. No matter where you land in the constellation, it provides perspective.

This book allows you to hear from others – what the journey has been and what changes in the system should be made. It pushes you to think and to feel uncomfortable. The reader learns in the discomfort. The reader hears the compelling voices of not just the authors, but those represented in the constellation, always keeping the adoptee voice at the center.

As an adoptive parent, I remember the hesitation of asking the questions of the birth parent – do you feel this way? How do you really feel? In person, we are careful to ask the questions. This book lets the walls come down and allows for the vulnerability of all parties. No longer are we protected by saying what is acceptable, but challenged to confront the reality of the system and world of adoption. What a unique and refreshing perspective!

At the heart of it all, adoption is about love, loss and identity. It shapes all that are in the constellation. Part of the work is understanding what happened, what is now and what you’ll do next. Adoption Unfiltered is your guide and companion as you move through the journey – gaining healing and perspective.

Share it with people who are touched by the constellation!

—Inquiring Mind

Transparency + Compassion = Amazing Resource
Adoption Unfiltered is an amazing book! It is well researched but also written from the heart. The three authors span the adoption constellation and offer viewpoints from the adoptee, birth parent, and adoptive parent perspectives. So many books about adoption stop at placement, and center adoptive parents. This book is a much-needed, balanced look into the intricacies and realities of adoption beyond placement, long ranging impact to all players, and need for reform. It does this without judgement, and with the voices of over 50 contributors. This balance of lived experience, research, compassion, and a need for action is truly unique and a must-read for anyone connected to adoption (including healthcare providers, teachers, mental health professionals, friends, and family). And it’s a great read!

—Jessica Leigh Haney

What the adoption community needs
I don’t know of any other books on the market that are authored by all 3 primary voices in the adoption constellation – adoptee, birth mom, and adoptive mom. This is a groundbreaking achievement!

And not only do Sara, Kelsey, and Lori bring us their own takes on adoption’s shades of gray, but they bring in many other voices: 27 adoptees, 18 birth parents, and 9 adoptive parents. Wow! What a feat!

Some of the truths in this book might make us squirm (especially other adoptive parents like me), but it’s important for us all to look adoption squarely in the face, so we can all be better advocates for those who are adopted.

I love the new Adoption Constellation diagram that was created for the book (by Sara, I believe). It’s a great way to visualize all the people who are touched by adoption and their place in the constellation. (I love how the Adoptee is centered and given the biggest space.)

The last chapter is called What Now? How Adoption Must Evolve. Instead of leaving us hopeless and in despair about all the things wrong with adoption, the authors send us off practical action steps that we can all take.

I’m so impressed with all the work and collaboration that went into this book. Bravo to Lori, Sara, and Kelsey and all the contributors. I have no doubt that this book will be the one people think of when they want to help someone understand adoption’s complexities better.

—Beth Syverson

IF you are involved in the adoption process, this is the book for YOU!
Whether you are a birth mother, an adoptee or an adopter, you will be amazed as I was, at the depth of the contents of this book. Adoption is looked at from ALL angles and it answered questions I hadn’t even thought of yet! A must read…if you are in involved in adoption in any phase. Highly recommended!

—Fred H.

Much Needed Learning From All Members of the Adoption Triad
I’m an adoptive mother with an adult child who estranged from us over three years ago. Since then, I’ve been doing a deep learning dive to understand why, because I know that, while not perfect, we were good parents and she was raised with love. I’ve learned a lot, mostly from adoptees, but this is the first book that brings the triad voices together to provide a message both progressive and compassionate. And, that doesn’t just point out what isn’t working and needs to be fixed, but also suggests ways to fix it. If I had known even half of this … Thank you.

—WendyB

Finally, a book that centers adoptee voices, and does so in tandem with birth parent and adoptive parent voices through shared narrative. This inclusive framework normalizes the adoption experience, offering insights that are raw, deeply resonant and humbling. Adoption Unfiltered doesn’t shy away from tough topics, addressing stereotypes, power differentials, cultural assumptions and issues related to adoption that are often overlooked or misunderstood. As a mental health professional and adoptive parent, I was challenged to reflect on my own discomfort as I journeyed through the differing perspectives.

Extremely well-researched and cited, Adoption Unfiltered also includes excerpts from interviews with 50 adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents, which I thought provided authenticity and depth of perspective.

Easterly, Ranyard and Holden have created a compassionate and insightful masterpiece that not only educates but also inspires with a clear call to action for systems change. For adoption professionals and for anyone within the adoption constellation, I recommend this book as an essential read.

—Jennifer A

“Easterly, Vander Vliet Ranyard, and Holden model beautifully in Adoption Unfiltered the complexities of the Both/And of adoption. As someone who has worked in the adoption industry since 1990 I know firsthand the dedication it takes to sit in community with other members of the adoption constellation (in this case an adoptee, a birth/first parent, and an adoptive parent) with the common goal of creating a body of work that is respectful and empathetic, while also critical and innovative. In Adoption Unfiltered, Easterly, Vander Vliet Ranyard, and Holden show us how it’s done!”

—ASTRID CASTRO, adoptee and CEO/Founder of Adoption Mosaic

“Adoption Unfiltered is a dream come true. As an adoptee and the leader of an organization that values inclusiveness, collaboration, courage, and trust, this book resonated with me deeply. I found myself cheering the authors on as I read. We grow in our understanding through listening to others, hearing them, feeling with them, and honoring their lived experiences. Adoption Unfiltered provides a unique opportunity to do just this. The triad of authors—Sara, Kelsey, and Lori—structured their work and successfully collaborated to elevate authentic voices, with the adoptee at the center. They expose many of the raw issues, the ones that are hardest for many to acknowledge. The hard truths. They also provide sound suggestions for individual, and institutional, healing. Nuanced and thought-provoking, this book should be required reading for everyone, from adoptees and their families to adoption professionals and policymakers. This book is a true gem that offers a unique perspective on adoption and illuminates the way forward for understanding, healing, and growth.”

—BETSIE NORRIS, adoptee; founder and executive director of Adoption Network Cleveland

“Adoption Unfiltered is the most important book of our modern adoption generation. With grief and loss existing in a space with hope and healing, we finally get to see a glimpse of those lived experiences through adoption in a way that is relatable, educational, and tangible. We finally know better, and this book is doing better.”

—ASHLEY MITCHELL, birth mother and founder of Lifetime Healing Foundation

“Adoption Unfiltered is a brilliant blend of diverse perspectives, clinical findings, and lived experience. The authors offer thoughtful, beautifully written insight synthesized through not only three positions in the adoption constellation, but from three distinct generations as well: Gen X adoptee, millennial birth mother, and boomer adoptive parent. Our three united authors deliver both breadth and depth as they weave a diversity of voices and experience in the adoption community through their thoughtful, powerful narratives. At times painful, at times healing, and consistently candid and triumphant, this trio of exceptional and caring authors guide us to a passionate mandate for not only change in the way of adoption reform, but a practical road map to get there. Adoption Unfiltered is what happens when people really speak up and listen to each other in community and invites us to embrace its lessons of enlightenment and the possibility of personal and systemic change. This authentic, dynamic, and unique work is an important contribution to the adoption canon.”

—SUZANNE BACHNER, adoptee; author and director of the award-winning play The Good Adoptee

“Adoption Unfiltered is a blazing, insightful, expansive, and informative triumph centering the lives of those touched by the complexities of adoption. The trio of authors present a masterwork that blends the perspectives and challenges faced by adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents in a way that holds their shared humanity while challenging existing systems in adoption. A must-read.”

—TONY HYNES, adoptee, author of The Son With Two Moms, and training specialist at Center for Adoption Support and Education (C.A.S.E.)

“Adoption Unfiltered belongs in the hands of all adoptive parents and those considering becoming one, natural parents who have endured adoption’s loss, adult adoptees who are on the journey of putting themselves together—and everyone working in the field of adoption. Expect to be surprised.”

—LORRAINE DUSKY, birth parent and author of Hole in My Heart and Birthmark

“Finally … a truth-telling book that validates the lived trauma of adoption and shows a way out of the suffering through truth, courage, grieving, and change. The stories are moving, the analysis is sound, the compassion is comforting, and the call for change is clear. We must not and cannot remain unmoved. Adoption Unfiltered is a must-read for all who care, whether personally involved in a story of adoption or not. It is not only adoption unfiltered; it calls us to be adoption wise.”

—GORDON NEUFELD, PH.D., clinical psychologist, founder of the Neufeld Institute, and bestselling author of Hold On to Your Kids

“Adoption Unfiltered offers an unsparing deconstruction of the happy-ever-after conventional wisdom about adoption as it crushes the familiar tropes that portray adopters as saviors, birthparents as selfless, and adoptees as blank slates who need nothing more to flourish than a loving stable home. It casts a clear, unflinching eye on the complexities, inequities, and failures of the system, pointing to the need for a more ethical practice that centers the wellbeing of adoptees. The authors offer as a prerequisite to such reparation the ability for each member of the adoption constellation to see through the lens of the others and understand the depth and full dimension of their experiences.”

—B.K. JACKSON, editor, Severance Magazine

“It’s never been more important for all parties of the adoption constellation to come to the table to craft essential reform. Change can’t happen, however, until we all have a better understanding of each other’s perspectives. Adoption Unfiltered has the ability to do just that—break down the walls to start candid conversations. This book amplifies the seldom-heard adoptee voice, expresses the journey of loss for birth parents, and includes the often dominant voice of adoptive parents. All parties agree change has to happen, but not until we pull back the veil and share rarely heard, raw first-hand experiences from those who have lived it.”

—REBECCA VAHLE, M.Ed., adoptive parent; founder and executive director of Family to Family Support Network

“As a foster parent educator, I am so excited that the book I have longed for now exists. Brilliantly written, Adoption Unfiltered may not be an easy read (because of the way it challenges old ideas), but it skillfully and thoroughly probes the societal narrative about adoption, leaving the reader to deeply re-examine their own beliefs. Adoption Unfiltered should be mandatory reading for anyone contemplating entry into adoption, as well as for their friends, co-workers, and family members.”

—KATIE BIRON, foster/adoptive parent; creator of the Family Connections Program™ and author of The Love Tree

“The rare opportunity to experience an adoptee, birth mother, and adoptive mother communicating honestly and compassionately offers a much-needed model for those navigating the inevitable tensions and joys that exist in adoption.”

—ANGELA TUCKER, adoptee and author of You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity and Transracial Adoption

“As both scholarly examination and deeply personal narrative, this is a carefully crafted, highly respectful, broadly readable examination of adoption. This is a meeting of minds, hearts, advocacy, and empathy. There’s just so much here!”

—GLENN MOREY, adoptee and creator of the Side by Side project and the New York Times Op Doc and Audible Original Given Away

“As a person adopted in the 1960s, this is the kind of ground-breaking book I wish my adoptive parents had read. It does not shy away from the harsh realities of what adoption truly means to everyone. The pages are full of honest accounts of the emotional impact to all parties. I identified with it all and read each word with relief that this factual book is now informing our culture. This is the truth of our experience, which so many choose to not want to understand. But understand we must for the sake of all families affected by adoption. I highly recommend this book to anyone considering adoption, or who is associated with adoption in any way. Adoption will continue to take place, but honest books like this will help make sure that this next generation of adoptees do not have to suffer in the way so many of us have and still do.”

—ZARA PHILLIPS, adoptee, singer, songwriter, playwright, and author of Somebody’s Daughter

“Adoption Unfiltered is a powerful book that is based entirely on lived-experience expertise from each triad member, yet centres the adoptee. So much wisdom learned over decades by those who have made mistakes and now know better, covering all the complexities I wish everyone knew—the real truths about adoption. I highly recommend Adoption Unfiltered for anyone but especially for the adoptee and their parents, biological and adoptive—and it should be mandatory reading in adoption education and for anyone considering adoption, as it will help prevent the ongoing trauma we adoptees typically experience in most adoptions to date.”

—LYNELLE LONG, adoptee and founding director of InterCountry Adoptee Voices (ICAV)

“Adoption Unfiltered is required reading for anyone who is part of the adoption constellation, including the central core triad. Using voices and perspectives from adoptees, birth parents, and adopting parents, this book reveals the inner thoughts, challenges, and possibilities each have experienced within themselves and the American culture, providing a map to navigate these complicated and complex roles. Kudos for creating a space for this much-needed conversation.”

—SUSAN DEVAN HARNESS, adoptee and author of Bitterroot: A Salish Memoir of Transracial Adoption

“Adoption Unfiltered is a well-researched tapestry of adoptee, birth/first family, and adoptive parent voices, experiences, and resources expertly woven into a pathway of hope for future generations. The trio of authors have created a space for compassionate truism while dispelling myths with the hard facts about the complexities of adoption. A compelling read for anyone seeking to understand the multi-faceted world of adoption.”

—MARCIE J KEITHLEY, first parent, co-founder/executive leader of National Association of Adoptees and Parents (NAAP), and author of The Shoebox Effect: Transforming Pain Into Fortitude and Purpose

“The chapter titles alone should pull people into NEEDING to read this book. Adoption Unfiltered is a book we must gather around in the adoption community so we can share among the general public. Adoption is still largely misunderstood and the system of adoption in the U.S. is in need of an overhaul. It is clear from the first pages of Adoption Unfiltered that the voices within it are raising ALL the issues that should be considered as we move forward in evolving adoption in America and elsewhere.”

—REBECCA RICARDO, LCSW, adoptee, birth parent, and executive director of C2Adopt

“Adoption Unfiltered fills an immense gap in adoption-related course curriculum and resources for individuals immediately impacted by adoption, their allies, and policy makers. Importantly, the authors understand adoptive families as a profound public and private social institution, born out of separation, subject to societal issues of classism, racism, and inequity. Writing across their own divergent standpoints as adoptee, birth parent, and adoptive parent, the authors create a unique space for honing skills in listening and communicating across difference—essential for today’s often polarizing family communicative environment. In Adoption Unfiltered, the authors illuminate paradoxes of adoption—voicing the constraints and losses of adoption as they interanimate with the generative potential of adoptive identities, family relatedness, and communication.”

—ELIZABETH A. SUTER, PH.D., adoptive parent, professor of Communication Studies at University of Denver, adoption researcher, and adoption educator

“What a welcome addition to our adoption libraries! Adoption Unfiltered provides a clear-eyed look at adoption from those most impacted—adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents. I appreciated that they neither overly praise nor condemn the institution of adoption. Rather, they allow space for both the beauty and pain, aiming to make life better for this current generation of adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents.”

—DAWN DAVENPORT, adoptive parent and executive director of Creating a Family

“Adoption Unfiltered is not only an excellent resource, it is a needed, invaluable resource for every conversation and consideration of adoption—past, present, and future. Easterly, Ranyard, and Holden have written and compiled a book that everyone in the “adoption constellation” needs. As an adoptive parent who has felt the lack of substance and over-emphasis on adoptive parent voices and perspectives for far too long, this book deserves to lead and take up wide space. I learned so much from every page in Adoption Unfiltered and I know that I will go back to it again and again. It is honest and it is a book of hope for the future.”

—TASHA JUN, adoptive parent and author of Tell Me the Dream Again: Reflections on Family, Ethnicity, and the Sacred Work of Belonging

REPRESENTING A RANGE
IN ADOPTION EXPERIENCES

* NOT SHOWN, BUT ALSO REPRESENTED: DISABILITY COMMUNITY, SINGLE-PARENT ADOPTION, TWICE-RELINQUISHED ADOPTEE,
PEOPLE WHO CHOSE NOT TO ADOPT, NEVER ADOPTED/AGED OUT OF FOSTER CARE, ATTACHMENT EXPERTS.

Why does representation matter?

There are many more perspectives than the three of us can offer. To help tell a broader and more inclusive story of adoption, we interviewed more than four dozen others from within the adoption constellation. Recognizing that we are cisgendered white women, we intentionally sought and included a range of other experiences and perspectives for Adoption Unfiltered. We have portrayed a mix of open and closed adoptions; intercountry and domestic adoptions; interracial and same-race adoptions. We strived for diversity in race, age, gender, sexual orientation, and more. We also included a balance in views on adoption, because we believe there is value in hearing from voices along the spectrum, and that readers are enriched by even the most difficult-to-hear viewpoints—maybe even especially so.

ADOPTEE VOICES INCLUDED

Amanda Medina
Astrid Castro
Bonita Rockingham
Carmen Hinckley
Cynthia Landesberg
Damon Davis
David Bohl, MA, CASC, MAC
Diego Vitelli, LMFT

Joyce Maguire Pavao, EdD
Julian Washio-Collette
Kathy Mackechney, LCSW
Katie Naftzger, LICSW
Kayla Zheng
Lanise A. Shelley
Lily P. McLaughlin
Mar Meislin

Marci Purcell
Rich Uhrlaub, MEd
Sara Easterly
Shelise Gieseke
Susan Devan Harness
Tammy Perlmutter
Tony Hynes
+ Others

Why do adoptee voices matter?

Our society has always claimed to orbit around the best interests of the child. But those deciding on the best interests of the child were not adoptees and as a result, didn’t always get adoption right. What’s more, for decades most of the books written about adoption have been written by nonadoptees. It’s high time that adult adoptees—those who have been at the center of adoption practices—have their viewpoints centered, too, to more effectively guide conversations around what is truly in the best interests of adoptees.

Birth parents have also long been marginalized, and they get prominence in Adoption Unfiltered, too. Adoptive parents are also important, but not as the only stars of the show.

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While writing Adoption Unfiltered, we found ourselves yearning for an image that shows how wide the adoption constellation is. As we know, adoption reaches far beyond those typically known as the “adoption triad” – adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents. Not finding precisely what we were looking for, this is what we came up with to distill the adoption constellation in an image.

As you’ll see, we placed adoptees clearly in the center, because adoption, after all, is supposed to orient around meeting the needs of the adopted child and centering adoptees’ needs first and foremost.

As we write in the book, “Adoption’s reach is extensive, affecting all who are close to us at different points in our lives. Adoptees encounter relationships and circumstances that expand the constellation more and more as they grow. In the beginning, a number of these people may be behind the scenes, influencing and orchestrating the fate of adoptees’ lives before they’re old enough to verbalize any emotions or say in the matter. Others will widen the constellation, as adoptees age and attend school, form relationships outside their birth and adoptive families, raise their own families or find chosen ones, and seek support from helping professionals, healthcare professionals, or peer support groups. Birth parents may go on to partner with someone new, who they will rely upon for emotional support, or raise children later in life who will be related to the child they placed for adoption. Adoptive parents may rely on family members, friends, and a host of healthcare and educational providers on the path to adoption and as key supports in their village of attachment.”

Because of the depth of the adoption constellation, we believe Adoption Unfiltered is for anyone who sees their role or roles in this graphic. Essentially, if you know an adoptee, birth parent, or adoptive parent, we hope you’ll read our book to better and more fully understand their experience and learn how to better support them.

Our hope is that this visual is used by many others in adoption advocacy and education as we continue to inform others about the complexities of adoption and support one another in our efforts.