openness Archives - Adoption Unfiltered https://adoptionunfiltered.com/tag/openness/ Sat, 02 Dec 2023 16:22:53 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.5.5 https://i0.wp.com/adoptionunfiltered.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/cropped-Adoption-Unfiltered-Favicon-Square.png?fit=32%2C32&ssl=1 openness Archives - Adoption Unfiltered https://adoptionunfiltered.com/tag/openness/ 32 32 203890745 Adoption Constellation Round Table https://adoptionunfiltered.com/podcast/adoption-constellation-round-table/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=adoption-constellation-round-table Tue, 11 Oct 2022 16:59:00 +0000 https://www.adoptionunfiltered.com/?post_type=podcast&p=729 Sara Easterly (adoptee), Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard (birth mom) and Lori Holden (adoptive mom) kick of Season 2 with a special Adoption Constellation Round Table, for which we invited adoptees, birth parents, adoptive parents, and others who have something to say about adoption to talk together around this question: What is the biggest ah-ha you’ve […]

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Sara Easterly (adoptee), Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard (birth mom) and Lori Holden (adoptive mom) kick of Season 2 with a special Adoption Constellation Round Table, for which we invited adoptees, birth parents, adoptive parents, and others who have something to say about adoption to talk together around this question: What is the biggest ah-ha you’ve had about adoption?

We also make a special announcement! Our book, Adoption Unfiltered, will be published in 2023 by Rowman & Littlefield! It will include the journeys and stories of the people in this round table, among others.

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Listen

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Sara Easterly:

 

Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard:

 

Lori Holden:

Episode List

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Sara, Kelsey, and Lori reveal candid perspectives on adoption—along with those of 50 other adoptees, birth parents, adoptive parents, and allies—in their recent book, Adoption Unfiltered, now available by Rowman & Littlefield.

“Easterly, Vander Vliet Ranyard, and Holden model beautifully in Adoption Unfiltered the complexities of the Both/And of adoption.”
—ASTRID CASTRO, adoptee and CEO/Founder of Adoption Mosaic
“The rare opportunity to experience an adoptee, birth mother, and adoptive mother communicating honestly and compassionately offers a much-needed model for those navigating the inevitable tensions and joys that exist in adoption.”
—ANGELA TUCKER, adoptee and author of You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity and Transracial Adoption
“Nuanced and thought-provoking, this book should be required reading for everyone, from adoptees and their families to adoption professionals and policymakers. This book is a true gem that offers a unique perspective on adoption and illuminates the way forward for understanding, healing, and growth.”
—BETSIE NORRIS, adoptee; founder and executive director of Adoption Network Cleveland
“As both scholarly examination and deeply personal narrative, this is a carefully crafted, highly respectful, broadly readable examination of adoption. This is a meeting of minds, hearts, advocacy, and empathy. There’s just so much here!”
—GLENN MOREY, adoptee and creator of the Side by Side project and the New York Times Op Doc and Audible Original Given Away
“Adoption Unfiltered is what happens when people really speak up and listen to each other in community and invites us to embrace its lessons of enlightenment and the possibility of personal and systemic change. This authentic, dynamic, and unique work is an important contribution to the adoption canon.”
—SUZANNE BACHNER, adoptee; author and director of the award-winning play The Good Adoptee
“As a person adopted in the 1960s, this is the kind of ground-breaking book I wish my adoptive parents had read. It does not shy away from the harsh realities of what adoption truly means to everyone. The pages are full of honest accounts of the emotional impact to all parties. I identified with it all and read each word with relief that this factual book is now informing our culture.”
—ZARA PHILLIPS, adoptee, singer, songwriter, playwright, and author of Somebody’s Daughter
“I highly recommend Adoption Unfiltered for anyone but especially for the adoptee and their parents, biological and adoptive—and it should be mandatory reading in adoption education and for anyone considering adoption, as it will help prevent the ongoing trauma we adoptees typically experience in most adoptions to date.”
—LYNELLE LONG, adoptee and founding director of InterCountry Adoptee Voices (ICAV)
“Adoption Unfiltered is the most important book of our modern adoption generation. With grief and loss existing in a space with hope and healing, we finally get to see a glimpse of those lived experiences through adoption in a way that is relatable, educational, and tangible. We finally know better, and this book is doing better.”
—ASHLEY MITCHELL, birth mother and founder of Lifetime Healing Foundation
“Adoption Unfiltered is required reading for anyone who is part of the adoption constellation, including the central core triad. Using voices and perspectives from adoptees, birth parents, and adopting parents, this book reveals the inner thoughts, challenges, and possibilities each have experienced within themselves and the American culture, providing a map to navigate these complicated and complex roles.”
—SUSAN DEVAN HARNESS, adoptee and author of Bitterroot: A Salish Memoir of Transracial Adoption
“Adoption Unfiltered is a blazing, insightful, expansive, and informative triumph centering the lives of those touched by the complexities of adoption. The trio of authors present a masterwork that blends the perspectives and challenges faced by adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents in a way that holds their shared humanity while challenging existing systems in adoption.”
—TONY HYNES, adoptee, author of The Son With Two Moms, and training specialist at Center for Adoption Support and Education (C.A.S.E.)
“Finally … a truth-telling book that validates the lived trauma of adoption and shows a way out of the suffering through truth, courage, grieving, and change. The stories are moving, the analysis is sound, the compassion is comforting, and the call for change is clear. We must not and cannot remain unmoved. Adoption Unfiltered is a must-read for all who care, whether personally involved in a story of adoption or not.”
—GORDON NEUFELD, PHD, clinical psychologist, founder of the Neufeld Institute, and bestselling author of Hold On to Your Kids
“Adoption Unfiltered casts a clear, unflinching eye on the complexities, inequities, and failures of the adoption system, pointing to the need for a more ethical practice that centers the wellbeing of adoptees while considering all members of the adoption constellation.”
—B.K. JACKSON, editor, Severance Magazine
“Adoption Unfiltered belongs in the hands of all adoptive parents and those considering becoming one, natural parents who have endured adoption’s loss, adult adoptees who are on the journey of putting themselves together—and everyone working in the field of adoption. Expect to be surprised.”
—LORRAINE DUSKY, birth parent and author of Hole in My Heart and Birthmark
“Writing across their own divergent standpoints as adoptee, birth parent, and adoptive parent, the authors create a unique space for honing skills in listening and communicating across difference—essential for today’s often polarizing family communicative environment.”
—ELIZABETH A. SUTER, PHD, adoptive parent, professor of Communication Studies at University of Denver, adoption researcher, and adoption educator
“Adoption Unfiltered provides a clear-eyed look at adoption from those most impacted—adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents. I appreciated that they neither overly praise nor condemn the institution of adoption. Rather, they allow space for both the beauty and pain, aiming to make life better for this current generation of adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents.”
—DAWN DAVENPORT, adoptive parent and executive director of Creating a Family
“Brilliantly written, Adoption Unfiltered may not be an easy read (because of the way it challenges old ideas), but it skillfully and thoroughly probes the societal narrative about adoption, leaving the reader to deeply re-examine their own beliefs. Adoption Unfiltered should be mandatory reading for anyone contemplating entry into adoption, as well as for their friends, co-workers, and family members.”
—KATIE BIRON, foster/adoptive parent; creator of the Family Connections Program™ and author of The Love Tree
“Adoption Unfiltered is a book we must gather around in the adoption community so we can share among the general public. Adoption is still largely misunderstood and the system of adoption in the U.S. is in need of an overhaul. It is clear from the first pages of Adoption Unfiltered that the voices within it are raising ALL the issues that should be considered as we move forward in evolving adoption in America and elsewhere.”
—REBECCA RICARDO, LCSW, adoptee, birth parent, and executive director of C2Adopt
“Adoption Unfiltered is a well-researched tapestry of adoptee, birth/first family, and adoptive parent voices, experiences, and resources expertly woven into a pathway of hope for future generations. The trio of authors have created a space for compassionate truism while dispelling myths with the hard facts about the complexities of adoption.”
—MARCIE J KEITHLEY, first parent, co-founder/executive leader of National Association of Adoptees and Parents (NAAP), and author of The Shoebox Effect: Transforming Pain Into Fortitude and Purpose
“It’s never been more important for all parties of the adoption constellation to come to the table to craft essential reform. Change can’t happen, however, until we all have a better understanding of each other’s perspectives. Adoption Unfiltered has the ability to do just that—break down the walls to start candid conversations.”
—REBECCA VAHLE, MEd, adoptive parent; founder and executive director of Family to Family Support Network
“Adoption Unfiltered is not only an excellent resource, it is a needed, invaluable resource for every conversation and consideration of adoption—past, present, and future … As an adoptive parent who has felt the lack of substance and over-emphasis on adoptive parent voices and perspectives for far too long, this book deserves to lead and take up wide space.”
—TASHA JUN, adoptive parent and author of Tell Me the Dream Again: Reflections on Family, Ethnicity, and the Sacred Work of Belonging
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The post Adoption Constellation Round Table appeared first on Adoption Unfiltered.

]]> 729 Separation, Trauma, and Healing in Adoption https://adoptionunfiltered.com/podcast/separation-trauma-and-healing-in-adoption/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=separation-trauma-and-healing-in-adoption Tue, 31 May 2022 16:36:00 +0000 https://www.adoptionunfiltered.com/?post_type=podcast&p=725 Gordon Neufeld, Ph.D. joins Sara (adoptee), Kelsey(birth mom), and Lori (adoptive mom) to talk about attachment and healing that can come—or not—after trauma. He provides

The post Separation, Trauma, and Healing in Adoption appeared first on Adoption Unfiltered.

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Gordon Neufeld, Ph.D. joins Sara (adoptee), Kelsey(birth mom), and Lori (adoptive mom) to talk about attachment and healing that can come—or not—after trauma. He provides validation for adoptees that separation is, in fact, a wound that needs tending. He provides wisdom for birth parents on how to incorporate the melancholy thread that becomes part of a life’s tapestry once you place a child for adoption. He provides guidance for adoptive parents on how to help a child who is having big, hard emotions. In short, Dr. Neufeld advises that we “feel the shape of the hole of the loss” as a healthy way of proceeding from the brokenness that adoption arises from.

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Listen

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Dr. Gordon Neufeld:

 

Sara Easterly:

 

Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard:

 

Lori Holden:

Read the Comments

“I love this. I have been processing a lot of grief since the pandemic started. ‘Sadness is the fruit’ brilliant.”
— Jennifer

“This is everything. I’ve been a therapist in attachment for some time and I love his work. Nice job!!!!!!! Adoptees need to hear this!!!!!”
— Catie

Episode List

Load More

Sara, Kelsey, and Lori reveal candid perspectives on adoption—along with those of 50 other adoptees, birth parents, adoptive parents, and allies—in their recent book, Adoption Unfiltered, now available by Rowman & Littlefield.

“Easterly, Vander Vliet Ranyard, and Holden model beautifully in Adoption Unfiltered the complexities of the Both/And of adoption.”
—ASTRID CASTRO, adoptee and CEO/Founder of Adoption Mosaic
“The rare opportunity to experience an adoptee, birth mother, and adoptive mother communicating honestly and compassionately offers a much-needed model for those navigating the inevitable tensions and joys that exist in adoption.”
—ANGELA TUCKER, adoptee and author of You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity and Transracial Adoption
“Nuanced and thought-provoking, this book should be required reading for everyone, from adoptees and their families to adoption professionals and policymakers. This book is a true gem that offers a unique perspective on adoption and illuminates the way forward for understanding, healing, and growth.”
—BETSIE NORRIS, adoptee; founder and executive director of Adoption Network Cleveland
“As both scholarly examination and deeply personal narrative, this is a carefully crafted, highly respectful, broadly readable examination of adoption. This is a meeting of minds, hearts, advocacy, and empathy. There’s just so much here!”
—GLENN MOREY, adoptee and creator of the Side by Side project and the New York Times Op Doc and Audible Original Given Away
“Adoption Unfiltered is what happens when people really speak up and listen to each other in community and invites us to embrace its lessons of enlightenment and the possibility of personal and systemic change. This authentic, dynamic, and unique work is an important contribution to the adoption canon.”
—SUZANNE BACHNER, adoptee; author and director of the award-winning play The Good Adoptee
“As a person adopted in the 1960s, this is the kind of ground-breaking book I wish my adoptive parents had read. It does not shy away from the harsh realities of what adoption truly means to everyone. The pages are full of honest accounts of the emotional impact to all parties. I identified with it all and read each word with relief that this factual book is now informing our culture.”
—ZARA PHILLIPS, adoptee, singer, songwriter, playwright, and author of Somebody’s Daughter
“I highly recommend Adoption Unfiltered for anyone but especially for the adoptee and their parents, biological and adoptive—and it should be mandatory reading in adoption education and for anyone considering adoption, as it will help prevent the ongoing trauma we adoptees typically experience in most adoptions to date.”
—LYNELLE LONG, adoptee and founding director of InterCountry Adoptee Voices (ICAV)
“Adoption Unfiltered is the most important book of our modern adoption generation. With grief and loss existing in a space with hope and healing, we finally get to see a glimpse of those lived experiences through adoption in a way that is relatable, educational, and tangible. We finally know better, and this book is doing better.”
—ASHLEY MITCHELL, birth mother and founder of Lifetime Healing Foundation
“Adoption Unfiltered is required reading for anyone who is part of the adoption constellation, including the central core triad. Using voices and perspectives from adoptees, birth parents, and adopting parents, this book reveals the inner thoughts, challenges, and possibilities each have experienced within themselves and the American culture, providing a map to navigate these complicated and complex roles.”
—SUSAN DEVAN HARNESS, adoptee and author of Bitterroot: A Salish Memoir of Transracial Adoption
“Adoption Unfiltered is a blazing, insightful, expansive, and informative triumph centering the lives of those touched by the complexities of adoption. The trio of authors present a masterwork that blends the perspectives and challenges faced by adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents in a way that holds their shared humanity while challenging existing systems in adoption.”
—TONY HYNES, adoptee, author of The Son With Two Moms, and training specialist at Center for Adoption Support and Education (C.A.S.E.)
“Finally … a truth-telling book that validates the lived trauma of adoption and shows a way out of the suffering through truth, courage, grieving, and change. The stories are moving, the analysis is sound, the compassion is comforting, and the call for change is clear. We must not and cannot remain unmoved. Adoption Unfiltered is a must-read for all who care, whether personally involved in a story of adoption or not.”
—GORDON NEUFELD, PHD, clinical psychologist, founder of the Neufeld Institute, and bestselling author of Hold On to Your Kids
“Adoption Unfiltered casts a clear, unflinching eye on the complexities, inequities, and failures of the adoption system, pointing to the need for a more ethical practice that centers the wellbeing of adoptees while considering all members of the adoption constellation.”
—B.K. JACKSON, editor, Severance Magazine
“Adoption Unfiltered belongs in the hands of all adoptive parents and those considering becoming one, natural parents who have endured adoption’s loss, adult adoptees who are on the journey of putting themselves together—and everyone working in the field of adoption. Expect to be surprised.”
—LORRAINE DUSKY, birth parent and author of Hole in My Heart and Birthmark
“Writing across their own divergent standpoints as adoptee, birth parent, and adoptive parent, the authors create a unique space for honing skills in listening and communicating across difference—essential for today’s often polarizing family communicative environment.”
—ELIZABETH A. SUTER, PHD, adoptive parent, professor of Communication Studies at University of Denver, adoption researcher, and adoption educator
“Adoption Unfiltered provides a clear-eyed look at adoption from those most impacted—adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents. I appreciated that they neither overly praise nor condemn the institution of adoption. Rather, they allow space for both the beauty and pain, aiming to make life better for this current generation of adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents.”
—DAWN DAVENPORT, adoptive parent and executive director of Creating a Family
“Brilliantly written, Adoption Unfiltered may not be an easy read (because of the way it challenges old ideas), but it skillfully and thoroughly probes the societal narrative about adoption, leaving the reader to deeply re-examine their own beliefs. Adoption Unfiltered should be mandatory reading for anyone contemplating entry into adoption, as well as for their friends, co-workers, and family members.”
—KATIE BIRON, foster/adoptive parent; creator of the Family Connections Program™ and author of The Love Tree
“Adoption Unfiltered is a book we must gather around in the adoption community so we can share among the general public. Adoption is still largely misunderstood and the system of adoption in the U.S. is in need of an overhaul. It is clear from the first pages of Adoption Unfiltered that the voices within it are raising ALL the issues that should be considered as we move forward in evolving adoption in America and elsewhere.”
—REBECCA RICARDO, LCSW, adoptee, birth parent, and executive director of C2Adopt
“Adoption Unfiltered is a well-researched tapestry of adoptee, birth/first family, and adoptive parent voices, experiences, and resources expertly woven into a pathway of hope for future generations. The trio of authors have created a space for compassionate truism while dispelling myths with the hard facts about the complexities of adoption.”
—MARCIE J KEITHLEY, first parent, co-founder/executive leader of National Association of Adoptees and Parents (NAAP), and author of The Shoebox Effect: Transforming Pain Into Fortitude and Purpose
“It’s never been more important for all parties of the adoption constellation to come to the table to craft essential reform. Change can’t happen, however, until we all have a better understanding of each other’s perspectives. Adoption Unfiltered has the ability to do just that—break down the walls to start candid conversations.”
—REBECCA VAHLE, MEd, adoptive parent; founder and executive director of Family to Family Support Network
“Adoption Unfiltered is not only an excellent resource, it is a needed, invaluable resource for every conversation and consideration of adoption—past, present, and future … As an adoptive parent who has felt the lack of substance and over-emphasis on adoptive parent voices and perspectives for far too long, this book deserves to lead and take up wide space.”
—TASHA JUN, adoptive parent and author of Tell Me the Dream Again: Reflections on Family, Ethnicity, and the Sacred Work of Belonging
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Order at Bookshop.org
 OR
Order on Amazon

The post Separation, Trauma, and Healing in Adoption appeared first on Adoption Unfiltered.

]]> 725 Problematic Behaviors of Birth Parents https://adoptionunfiltered.com/podcast/problematic-behaviors-of-birth-parents/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=problematic-behaviors-of-birth-parents Tue, 17 May 2022 16:30:00 +0000 https://www.adoptionunfiltered.com/?post_type=podcast&p=723 As the companion discussion to Problematic Behaviors of Adoptive Parents, Adoptee Tony Hynesof C.A.S.E. (the Center for Adoption Support and Education) joins Adoptee Sara Easterly,

The post Problematic Behaviors of Birth Parents appeared first on Adoption Unfiltered.

]]>

As the companion discussion to Problematic Behaviors of Adoptive Parents, Adoptee Tony Hynesof C.A.S.E. (the Center for Adoption Support and Education) joins Adoptee Sara Easterly, Birth Mom Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard, and Adoptive Mom Lori Holden to cover some of the problematic behaviors of birth parents.

Tony has quite a story. He is a transracial adoptee raised in an open adoption by his two adoptive moms and his birth grandmother. A rope in a tug of war? A wishbone between two sides who love him? What all this felt like to Tony, along with a conversation about the common behaviors adoptees experience from parents that cause difficulties.

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Listen

Engage Further

Tony Hynes:

 

Sara Easterly:

 

Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard:

 

Lori Holden:

Read the Comments

“This is AMAZING to me. I’m a 46 year old black adoptee just learning about the adoption community. I was surprisingly told of my adoption at 13 years old in a one and done conversation. At 45 I began openly talking, questioning and posting on social media about my adoptee experience. I’ve never been allowed to address any of this from my AP’s. They never talked to me about adoption after that initial telling. You are angels for fixing this problem in future families. 🖤🖤😭😭😭”
— Poet Loschil

“Just listened to your show and thought it was so helpful for understanding younger mothers in an open adoption.“
— Kathy

Episode List

Load More

Sara, Kelsey, and Lori reveal candid perspectives on adoption—along with those of 50 other adoptees, birth parents, adoptive parents, and allies—in their recent book, Adoption Unfiltered, now available by Rowman & Littlefield.

“Easterly, Vander Vliet Ranyard, and Holden model beautifully in Adoption Unfiltered the complexities of the Both/And of adoption.”
—ASTRID CASTRO, adoptee and CEO/Founder of Adoption Mosaic
“The rare opportunity to experience an adoptee, birth mother, and adoptive mother communicating honestly and compassionately offers a much-needed model for those navigating the inevitable tensions and joys that exist in adoption.”
—ANGELA TUCKER, adoptee and author of You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity and Transracial Adoption
“Nuanced and thought-provoking, this book should be required reading for everyone, from adoptees and their families to adoption professionals and policymakers. This book is a true gem that offers a unique perspective on adoption and illuminates the way forward for understanding, healing, and growth.”
—BETSIE NORRIS, adoptee; founder and executive director of Adoption Network Cleveland
“As both scholarly examination and deeply personal narrative, this is a carefully crafted, highly respectful, broadly readable examination of adoption. This is a meeting of minds, hearts, advocacy, and empathy. There’s just so much here!”
—GLENN MOREY, adoptee and creator of the Side by Side project and the New York Times Op Doc and Audible Original Given Away
“Adoption Unfiltered is what happens when people really speak up and listen to each other in community and invites us to embrace its lessons of enlightenment and the possibility of personal and systemic change. This authentic, dynamic, and unique work is an important contribution to the adoption canon.”
—SUZANNE BACHNER, adoptee; author and director of the award-winning play The Good Adoptee
“As a person adopted in the 1960s, this is the kind of ground-breaking book I wish my adoptive parents had read. It does not shy away from the harsh realities of what adoption truly means to everyone. The pages are full of honest accounts of the emotional impact to all parties. I identified with it all and read each word with relief that this factual book is now informing our culture.”
—ZARA PHILLIPS, adoptee, singer, songwriter, playwright, and author of Somebody’s Daughter
“I highly recommend Adoption Unfiltered for anyone but especially for the adoptee and their parents, biological and adoptive—and it should be mandatory reading in adoption education and for anyone considering adoption, as it will help prevent the ongoing trauma we adoptees typically experience in most adoptions to date.”
—LYNELLE LONG, adoptee and founding director of InterCountry Adoptee Voices (ICAV)
“Adoption Unfiltered is the most important book of our modern adoption generation. With grief and loss existing in a space with hope and healing, we finally get to see a glimpse of those lived experiences through adoption in a way that is relatable, educational, and tangible. We finally know better, and this book is doing better.”
—ASHLEY MITCHELL, birth mother and founder of Lifetime Healing Foundation
“Adoption Unfiltered is required reading for anyone who is part of the adoption constellation, including the central core triad. Using voices and perspectives from adoptees, birth parents, and adopting parents, this book reveals the inner thoughts, challenges, and possibilities each have experienced within themselves and the American culture, providing a map to navigate these complicated and complex roles.”
—SUSAN DEVAN HARNESS, adoptee and author of Bitterroot: A Salish Memoir of Transracial Adoption
“Adoption Unfiltered is a blazing, insightful, expansive, and informative triumph centering the lives of those touched by the complexities of adoption. The trio of authors present a masterwork that blends the perspectives and challenges faced by adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents in a way that holds their shared humanity while challenging existing systems in adoption.”
—TONY HYNES, adoptee, author of The Son With Two Moms, and training specialist at Center for Adoption Support and Education (C.A.S.E.)
“Finally … a truth-telling book that validates the lived trauma of adoption and shows a way out of the suffering through truth, courage, grieving, and change. The stories are moving, the analysis is sound, the compassion is comforting, and the call for change is clear. We must not and cannot remain unmoved. Adoption Unfiltered is a must-read for all who care, whether personally involved in a story of adoption or not.”
—GORDON NEUFELD, PHD, clinical psychologist, founder of the Neufeld Institute, and bestselling author of Hold On to Your Kids
“Adoption Unfiltered casts a clear, unflinching eye on the complexities, inequities, and failures of the adoption system, pointing to the need for a more ethical practice that centers the wellbeing of adoptees while considering all members of the adoption constellation.”
—B.K. JACKSON, editor, Severance Magazine
“Adoption Unfiltered belongs in the hands of all adoptive parents and those considering becoming one, natural parents who have endured adoption’s loss, adult adoptees who are on the journey of putting themselves together—and everyone working in the field of adoption. Expect to be surprised.”
—LORRAINE DUSKY, birth parent and author of Hole in My Heart and Birthmark
“Writing across their own divergent standpoints as adoptee, birth parent, and adoptive parent, the authors create a unique space for honing skills in listening and communicating across difference—essential for today’s often polarizing family communicative environment.”
—ELIZABETH A. SUTER, PHD, adoptive parent, professor of Communication Studies at University of Denver, adoption researcher, and adoption educator
“Adoption Unfiltered provides a clear-eyed look at adoption from those most impacted—adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents. I appreciated that they neither overly praise nor condemn the institution of adoption. Rather, they allow space for both the beauty and pain, aiming to make life better for this current generation of adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents.”
—DAWN DAVENPORT, adoptive parent and executive director of Creating a Family
“Brilliantly written, Adoption Unfiltered may not be an easy read (because of the way it challenges old ideas), but it skillfully and thoroughly probes the societal narrative about adoption, leaving the reader to deeply re-examine their own beliefs. Adoption Unfiltered should be mandatory reading for anyone contemplating entry into adoption, as well as for their friends, co-workers, and family members.”
—KATIE BIRON, foster/adoptive parent; creator of the Family Connections Program™ and author of The Love Tree
“Adoption Unfiltered is a book we must gather around in the adoption community so we can share among the general public. Adoption is still largely misunderstood and the system of adoption in the U.S. is in need of an overhaul. It is clear from the first pages of Adoption Unfiltered that the voices within it are raising ALL the issues that should be considered as we move forward in evolving adoption in America and elsewhere.”
—REBECCA RICARDO, LCSW, adoptee, birth parent, and executive director of C2Adopt
“Adoption Unfiltered is a well-researched tapestry of adoptee, birth/first family, and adoptive parent voices, experiences, and resources expertly woven into a pathway of hope for future generations. The trio of authors have created a space for compassionate truism while dispelling myths with the hard facts about the complexities of adoption.”
—MARCIE J KEITHLEY, first parent, co-founder/executive leader of National Association of Adoptees and Parents (NAAP), and author of The Shoebox Effect: Transforming Pain Into Fortitude and Purpose
“It’s never been more important for all parties of the adoption constellation to come to the table to craft essential reform. Change can’t happen, however, until we all have a better understanding of each other’s perspectives. Adoption Unfiltered has the ability to do just that—break down the walls to start candid conversations.”
—REBECCA VAHLE, MEd, adoptive parent; founder and executive director of Family to Family Support Network
“Adoption Unfiltered is not only an excellent resource, it is a needed, invaluable resource for every conversation and consideration of adoption—past, present, and future … As an adoptive parent who has felt the lack of substance and over-emphasis on adoptive parent voices and perspectives for far too long, this book deserves to lead and take up wide space.”
—TASHA JUN, adoptive parent and author of Tell Me the Dream Again: Reflections on Family, Ethnicity, and the Sacred Work of Belonging
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Order at Bookshop.org
 OR
Order on Amazon

The post Problematic Behaviors of Birth Parents appeared first on Adoption Unfiltered.

]]> 723 Adoption Terminology: Words Matter https://adoptionunfiltered.com/podcast/adoption-terminology-words-matter/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=adoption-terminology-words-matter Fri, 22 Apr 2022 16:15:00 +0000 https://www.adoptionunfiltered.com/?post_type=podcast&p=719 Sara (adoptee), Kelsey (birth mom) and Lori (adoptive mom) offer their perspectives on various words people in the triad are called, like “ungrateful adoptee,” “first

The post Adoption Terminology: Words Matter appeared first on Adoption Unfiltered.

]]>

Sara (adoptee), Kelsey (birth mom) and Lori (adoptive mom) offer their perspectives on various words people in the triad are called, like “ungrateful adoptee,” “first mom,” and “adoptoraptor.” Plus, other phrases like “put up” vs “placed for” adoption, “Real Mom,” “Gotcha Day,” “Tummy Mummy,” “adoption triad” vs “adoption constellation,” and more.

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Read the Comments

“The comment you made about how a birth mother may change the language she uses to describe her experience? I’m glad you said this. In the group I facilitate we asked the other women how they describe their adoption. There was one that made every woman in our group stop and nod their heads: I lost my child to adoption.“
— Nikki

Episode List

Load More

Sara, Kelsey, and Lori reveal candid perspectives on adoption—along with those of 50 other adoptees, birth parents, adoptive parents, and allies—in their recent book, Adoption Unfiltered, now available by Rowman & Littlefield.

“Easterly, Vander Vliet Ranyard, and Holden model beautifully in Adoption Unfiltered the complexities of the Both/And of adoption.”
—ASTRID CASTRO, adoptee and CEO/Founder of Adoption Mosaic
“The rare opportunity to experience an adoptee, birth mother, and adoptive mother communicating honestly and compassionately offers a much-needed model for those navigating the inevitable tensions and joys that exist in adoption.”
—ANGELA TUCKER, adoptee and author of You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity and Transracial Adoption
“Nuanced and thought-provoking, this book should be required reading for everyone, from adoptees and their families to adoption professionals and policymakers. This book is a true gem that offers a unique perspective on adoption and illuminates the way forward for understanding, healing, and growth.”
—BETSIE NORRIS, adoptee; founder and executive director of Adoption Network Cleveland
“As both scholarly examination and deeply personal narrative, this is a carefully crafted, highly respectful, broadly readable examination of adoption. This is a meeting of minds, hearts, advocacy, and empathy. There’s just so much here!”
—GLENN MOREY, adoptee and creator of the Side by Side project and the New York Times Op Doc and Audible Original Given Away
“Adoption Unfiltered is what happens when people really speak up and listen to each other in community and invites us to embrace its lessons of enlightenment and the possibility of personal and systemic change. This authentic, dynamic, and unique work is an important contribution to the adoption canon.”
—SUZANNE BACHNER, adoptee; author and director of the award-winning play The Good Adoptee
“As a person adopted in the 1960s, this is the kind of ground-breaking book I wish my adoptive parents had read. It does not shy away from the harsh realities of what adoption truly means to everyone. The pages are full of honest accounts of the emotional impact to all parties. I identified with it all and read each word with relief that this factual book is now informing our culture.”
—ZARA PHILLIPS, adoptee, singer, songwriter, playwright, and author of Somebody’s Daughter
“I highly recommend Adoption Unfiltered for anyone but especially for the adoptee and their parents, biological and adoptive—and it should be mandatory reading in adoption education and for anyone considering adoption, as it will help prevent the ongoing trauma we adoptees typically experience in most adoptions to date.”
—LYNELLE LONG, adoptee and founding director of InterCountry Adoptee Voices (ICAV)
“Adoption Unfiltered is the most important book of our modern adoption generation. With grief and loss existing in a space with hope and healing, we finally get to see a glimpse of those lived experiences through adoption in a way that is relatable, educational, and tangible. We finally know better, and this book is doing better.”
—ASHLEY MITCHELL, birth mother and founder of Lifetime Healing Foundation
“Adoption Unfiltered is required reading for anyone who is part of the adoption constellation, including the central core triad. Using voices and perspectives from adoptees, birth parents, and adopting parents, this book reveals the inner thoughts, challenges, and possibilities each have experienced within themselves and the American culture, providing a map to navigate these complicated and complex roles.”
—SUSAN DEVAN HARNESS, adoptee and author of Bitterroot: A Salish Memoir of Transracial Adoption
“Adoption Unfiltered is a blazing, insightful, expansive, and informative triumph centering the lives of those touched by the complexities of adoption. The trio of authors present a masterwork that blends the perspectives and challenges faced by adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents in a way that holds their shared humanity while challenging existing systems in adoption.”
—TONY HYNES, adoptee, author of The Son With Two Moms, and training specialist at Center for Adoption Support and Education (C.A.S.E.)
“Finally … a truth-telling book that validates the lived trauma of adoption and shows a way out of the suffering through truth, courage, grieving, and change. The stories are moving, the analysis is sound, the compassion is comforting, and the call for change is clear. We must not and cannot remain unmoved. Adoption Unfiltered is a must-read for all who care, whether personally involved in a story of adoption or not.”
—GORDON NEUFELD, PHD, clinical psychologist, founder of the Neufeld Institute, and bestselling author of Hold On to Your Kids
“Adoption Unfiltered casts a clear, unflinching eye on the complexities, inequities, and failures of the adoption system, pointing to the need for a more ethical practice that centers the wellbeing of adoptees while considering all members of the adoption constellation.”
—B.K. JACKSON, editor, Severance Magazine
“Adoption Unfiltered belongs in the hands of all adoptive parents and those considering becoming one, natural parents who have endured adoption’s loss, adult adoptees who are on the journey of putting themselves together—and everyone working in the field of adoption. Expect to be surprised.”
—LORRAINE DUSKY, birth parent and author of Hole in My Heart and Birthmark
“Writing across their own divergent standpoints as adoptee, birth parent, and adoptive parent, the authors create a unique space for honing skills in listening and communicating across difference—essential for today’s often polarizing family communicative environment.”
—ELIZABETH A. SUTER, PHD, adoptive parent, professor of Communication Studies at University of Denver, adoption researcher, and adoption educator
“Adoption Unfiltered provides a clear-eyed look at adoption from those most impacted—adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents. I appreciated that they neither overly praise nor condemn the institution of adoption. Rather, they allow space for both the beauty and pain, aiming to make life better for this current generation of adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents.”
—DAWN DAVENPORT, adoptive parent and executive director of Creating a Family
“Brilliantly written, Adoption Unfiltered may not be an easy read (because of the way it challenges old ideas), but it skillfully and thoroughly probes the societal narrative about adoption, leaving the reader to deeply re-examine their own beliefs. Adoption Unfiltered should be mandatory reading for anyone contemplating entry into adoption, as well as for their friends, co-workers, and family members.”
—KATIE BIRON, foster/adoptive parent; creator of the Family Connections Program™ and author of The Love Tree
“Adoption Unfiltered is a book we must gather around in the adoption community so we can share among the general public. Adoption is still largely misunderstood and the system of adoption in the U.S. is in need of an overhaul. It is clear from the first pages of Adoption Unfiltered that the voices within it are raising ALL the issues that should be considered as we move forward in evolving adoption in America and elsewhere.”
—REBECCA RICARDO, LCSW, adoptee, birth parent, and executive director of C2Adopt
“Adoption Unfiltered is a well-researched tapestry of adoptee, birth/first family, and adoptive parent voices, experiences, and resources expertly woven into a pathway of hope for future generations. The trio of authors have created a space for compassionate truism while dispelling myths with the hard facts about the complexities of adoption.”
—MARCIE J KEITHLEY, first parent, co-founder/executive leader of National Association of Adoptees and Parents (NAAP), and author of The Shoebox Effect: Transforming Pain Into Fortitude and Purpose
“It’s never been more important for all parties of the adoption constellation to come to the table to craft essential reform. Change can’t happen, however, until we all have a better understanding of each other’s perspectives. Adoption Unfiltered has the ability to do just that—break down the walls to start candid conversations.”
—REBECCA VAHLE, MEd, adoptive parent; founder and executive director of Family to Family Support Network
“Adoption Unfiltered is not only an excellent resource, it is a needed, invaluable resource for every conversation and consideration of adoption—past, present, and future … As an adoptive parent who has felt the lack of substance and over-emphasis on adoptive parent voices and perspectives for far too long, this book deserves to lead and take up wide space.”
—TASHA JUN, adoptive parent and author of Tell Me the Dream Again: Reflections on Family, Ethnicity, and the Sacred Work of Belonging
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The post Adoption Terminology: Words Matter appeared first on Adoption Unfiltered.

]]> 719 Birth Fathers & Adoption https://adoptionunfiltered.com/podcast/birth-fathers-adoption/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=birth-fathers-adoption Thu, 14 Apr 2022 16:10:00 +0000 https://www.adoptionunfiltered.com/?post_type=podcast&p=717 There aren’t too many spaces in which men are marginalized, but Adoption Land is one of them. Birth Father Ridghaus joins Adoptee Sara Easterly, Birth

The post Birth Fathers & Adoption appeared first on Adoption Unfiltered.

]]>

There aren’t too many spaces in which men are marginalized, but Adoption Land is one of them.

Birth Father Ridghaus joins Adoptee Sara Easterly, Birth Mom Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard, and Adoptive Mom Lori Holden to reveal the viewpoint of a lesser heard voice—that of a birth father.

Talk about complexity … power dynamics on steroids!

Watch

Listen

Read the Comments

“So many gems in this episode, including birth father insights but also beyond the scope of that specific experience, as well. Seriously loved this episode. Thanks to everyone.“
— Marci Purcell, Adoption Knowledge Affiliates

Episode List

Load More

Sara, Kelsey, and Lori reveal candid perspectives on adoption—along with those of 50 other adoptees, birth parents, adoptive parents, and allies—in their recent book, Adoption Unfiltered, now available by Rowman & Littlefield.

“Easterly, Vander Vliet Ranyard, and Holden model beautifully in Adoption Unfiltered the complexities of the Both/And of adoption.”
—ASTRID CASTRO, adoptee and CEO/Founder of Adoption Mosaic
“The rare opportunity to experience an adoptee, birth mother, and adoptive mother communicating honestly and compassionately offers a much-needed model for those navigating the inevitable tensions and joys that exist in adoption.”
—ANGELA TUCKER, adoptee and author of You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity and Transracial Adoption
“Nuanced and thought-provoking, this book should be required reading for everyone, from adoptees and their families to adoption professionals and policymakers. This book is a true gem that offers a unique perspective on adoption and illuminates the way forward for understanding, healing, and growth.”
—BETSIE NORRIS, adoptee; founder and executive director of Adoption Network Cleveland
“As both scholarly examination and deeply personal narrative, this is a carefully crafted, highly respectful, broadly readable examination of adoption. This is a meeting of minds, hearts, advocacy, and empathy. There’s just so much here!”
—GLENN MOREY, adoptee and creator of the Side by Side project and the New York Times Op Doc and Audible Original Given Away
“Adoption Unfiltered is what happens when people really speak up and listen to each other in community and invites us to embrace its lessons of enlightenment and the possibility of personal and systemic change. This authentic, dynamic, and unique work is an important contribution to the adoption canon.”
—SUZANNE BACHNER, adoptee; author and director of the award-winning play The Good Adoptee
“As a person adopted in the 1960s, this is the kind of ground-breaking book I wish my adoptive parents had read. It does not shy away from the harsh realities of what adoption truly means to everyone. The pages are full of honest accounts of the emotional impact to all parties. I identified with it all and read each word with relief that this factual book is now informing our culture.”
—ZARA PHILLIPS, adoptee, singer, songwriter, playwright, and author of Somebody’s Daughter
“I highly recommend Adoption Unfiltered for anyone but especially for the adoptee and their parents, biological and adoptive—and it should be mandatory reading in adoption education and for anyone considering adoption, as it will help prevent the ongoing trauma we adoptees typically experience in most adoptions to date.”
—LYNELLE LONG, adoptee and founding director of InterCountry Adoptee Voices (ICAV)
“Adoption Unfiltered is the most important book of our modern adoption generation. With grief and loss existing in a space with hope and healing, we finally get to see a glimpse of those lived experiences through adoption in a way that is relatable, educational, and tangible. We finally know better, and this book is doing better.”
—ASHLEY MITCHELL, birth mother and founder of Lifetime Healing Foundation
“Adoption Unfiltered is required reading for anyone who is part of the adoption constellation, including the central core triad. Using voices and perspectives from adoptees, birth parents, and adopting parents, this book reveals the inner thoughts, challenges, and possibilities each have experienced within themselves and the American culture, providing a map to navigate these complicated and complex roles.”
—SUSAN DEVAN HARNESS, adoptee and author of Bitterroot: A Salish Memoir of Transracial Adoption
“Adoption Unfiltered is a blazing, insightful, expansive, and informative triumph centering the lives of those touched by the complexities of adoption. The trio of authors present a masterwork that blends the perspectives and challenges faced by adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents in a way that holds their shared humanity while challenging existing systems in adoption.”
—TONY HYNES, adoptee, author of The Son With Two Moms, and training specialist at Center for Adoption Support and Education (C.A.S.E.)
“Finally … a truth-telling book that validates the lived trauma of adoption and shows a way out of the suffering through truth, courage, grieving, and change. The stories are moving, the analysis is sound, the compassion is comforting, and the call for change is clear. We must not and cannot remain unmoved. Adoption Unfiltered is a must-read for all who care, whether personally involved in a story of adoption or not.”
—GORDON NEUFELD, PHD, clinical psychologist, founder of the Neufeld Institute, and bestselling author of Hold On to Your Kids
“Adoption Unfiltered casts a clear, unflinching eye on the complexities, inequities, and failures of the adoption system, pointing to the need for a more ethical practice that centers the wellbeing of adoptees while considering all members of the adoption constellation.”
—B.K. JACKSON, editor, Severance Magazine
“Adoption Unfiltered belongs in the hands of all adoptive parents and those considering becoming one, natural parents who have endured adoption’s loss, adult adoptees who are on the journey of putting themselves together—and everyone working in the field of adoption. Expect to be surprised.”
—LORRAINE DUSKY, birth parent and author of Hole in My Heart and Birthmark
“Writing across their own divergent standpoints as adoptee, birth parent, and adoptive parent, the authors create a unique space for honing skills in listening and communicating across difference—essential for today’s often polarizing family communicative environment.”
—ELIZABETH A. SUTER, PHD, adoptive parent, professor of Communication Studies at University of Denver, adoption researcher, and adoption educator
“Adoption Unfiltered provides a clear-eyed look at adoption from those most impacted—adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents. I appreciated that they neither overly praise nor condemn the institution of adoption. Rather, they allow space for both the beauty and pain, aiming to make life better for this current generation of adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents.”
—DAWN DAVENPORT, adoptive parent and executive director of Creating a Family
“Brilliantly written, Adoption Unfiltered may not be an easy read (because of the way it challenges old ideas), but it skillfully and thoroughly probes the societal narrative about adoption, leaving the reader to deeply re-examine their own beliefs. Adoption Unfiltered should be mandatory reading for anyone contemplating entry into adoption, as well as for their friends, co-workers, and family members.”
—KATIE BIRON, foster/adoptive parent; creator of the Family Connections Program™ and author of The Love Tree
“Adoption Unfiltered is a book we must gather around in the adoption community so we can share among the general public. Adoption is still largely misunderstood and the system of adoption in the U.S. is in need of an overhaul. It is clear from the first pages of Adoption Unfiltered that the voices within it are raising ALL the issues that should be considered as we move forward in evolving adoption in America and elsewhere.”
—REBECCA RICARDO, LCSW, adoptee, birth parent, and executive director of C2Adopt
“Adoption Unfiltered is a well-researched tapestry of adoptee, birth/first family, and adoptive parent voices, experiences, and resources expertly woven into a pathway of hope for future generations. The trio of authors have created a space for compassionate truism while dispelling myths with the hard facts about the complexities of adoption.”
—MARCIE J KEITHLEY, first parent, co-founder/executive leader of National Association of Adoptees and Parents (NAAP), and author of The Shoebox Effect: Transforming Pain Into Fortitude and Purpose
“It’s never been more important for all parties of the adoption constellation to come to the table to craft essential reform. Change can’t happen, however, until we all have a better understanding of each other’s perspectives. Adoption Unfiltered has the ability to do just that—break down the walls to start candid conversations.”
—REBECCA VAHLE, MEd, adoptive parent; founder and executive director of Family to Family Support Network
“Adoption Unfiltered is not only an excellent resource, it is a needed, invaluable resource for every conversation and consideration of adoption—past, present, and future … As an adoptive parent who has felt the lack of substance and over-emphasis on adoptive parent voices and perspectives for far too long, this book deserves to lead and take up wide space.”
—TASHA JUN, adoptive parent and author of Tell Me the Dream Again: Reflections on Family, Ethnicity, and the Sacred Work of Belonging
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Order at Bookshop.org
 OR
Order on Amazon

The post Birth Fathers & Adoption appeared first on Adoption Unfiltered.

]]> 717 Adoptee-Centered Relationships https://adoptionunfiltered.com/podcast/adoptee-centered-relationships/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=adoptee-centered-relationships Fri, 08 Apr 2022 16:07:00 +0000 https://www.adoptionunfiltered.com/?post_type=podcast&p=714 A viewer asked: how can adoptive parents and birth parents best navigate adoption relationships and center the adoptee? Great question! Sara reveals the main thing

The post Adoptee-Centered Relationships appeared first on Adoption Unfiltered.

]]>

A viewer asked: how can adoptive parents and birth parents best navigate adoption relationships and center the adoptee? Great question! Sara reveals the main thing an adoptee needs from adoptive parents, no matter if in an open / closed / international / foster adoption. Kelsey shares insights about what may be behind certain birth parent behaviors—as well as inaction. And when things may be personal—or not personal. Lori brings up the Host / Guest aspect of such relationships and some guidance around the dynamics. She asks how adoptive parents can use their power for good and not for destruction.

Watch

Listen

Read the Comments

“There are some serious gems in this podcast. Thank you for adding to these critical conversations.”
—Adoption Knowledge Affiliates

“This may be the most timely discussion ever for me.”
—Nikki

“THANK YOU!! You answered so well and I keep listening because you each shared so many helpful thoughts. Again, please know how important what you are doing is. It is making a difference in the real life of adoptees, birth families and adoptive parents.”
—Jacque

“So much wisdom and grace from each of you! Thank you!” —Bradley

Episode List

Load More

Sara, Kelsey, and Lori reveal candid perspectives on adoption—along with those of 50 other adoptees, birth parents, adoptive parents, and allies—in their recent book, Adoption Unfiltered, now available by Rowman & Littlefield.

“Easterly, Vander Vliet Ranyard, and Holden model beautifully in Adoption Unfiltered the complexities of the Both/And of adoption.”
—ASTRID CASTRO, adoptee and CEO/Founder of Adoption Mosaic
“The rare opportunity to experience an adoptee, birth mother, and adoptive mother communicating honestly and compassionately offers a much-needed model for those navigating the inevitable tensions and joys that exist in adoption.”
—ANGELA TUCKER, adoptee and author of You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity and Transracial Adoption
“Nuanced and thought-provoking, this book should be required reading for everyone, from adoptees and their families to adoption professionals and policymakers. This book is a true gem that offers a unique perspective on adoption and illuminates the way forward for understanding, healing, and growth.”
—BETSIE NORRIS, adoptee; founder and executive director of Adoption Network Cleveland
“As both scholarly examination and deeply personal narrative, this is a carefully crafted, highly respectful, broadly readable examination of adoption. This is a meeting of minds, hearts, advocacy, and empathy. There’s just so much here!”
—GLENN MOREY, adoptee and creator of the Side by Side project and the New York Times Op Doc and Audible Original Given Away
“Adoption Unfiltered is what happens when people really speak up and listen to each other in community and invites us to embrace its lessons of enlightenment and the possibility of personal and systemic change. This authentic, dynamic, and unique work is an important contribution to the adoption canon.”
—SUZANNE BACHNER, adoptee; author and director of the award-winning play The Good Adoptee
“As a person adopted in the 1960s, this is the kind of ground-breaking book I wish my adoptive parents had read. It does not shy away from the harsh realities of what adoption truly means to everyone. The pages are full of honest accounts of the emotional impact to all parties. I identified with it all and read each word with relief that this factual book is now informing our culture.”
—ZARA PHILLIPS, adoptee, singer, songwriter, playwright, and author of Somebody’s Daughter
“I highly recommend Adoption Unfiltered for anyone but especially for the adoptee and their parents, biological and adoptive—and it should be mandatory reading in adoption education and for anyone considering adoption, as it will help prevent the ongoing trauma we adoptees typically experience in most adoptions to date.”
—LYNELLE LONG, adoptee and founding director of InterCountry Adoptee Voices (ICAV)
“Adoption Unfiltered is the most important book of our modern adoption generation. With grief and loss existing in a space with hope and healing, we finally get to see a glimpse of those lived experiences through adoption in a way that is relatable, educational, and tangible. We finally know better, and this book is doing better.”
—ASHLEY MITCHELL, birth mother and founder of Lifetime Healing Foundation
“Adoption Unfiltered is required reading for anyone who is part of the adoption constellation, including the central core triad. Using voices and perspectives from adoptees, birth parents, and adopting parents, this book reveals the inner thoughts, challenges, and possibilities each have experienced within themselves and the American culture, providing a map to navigate these complicated and complex roles.”
—SUSAN DEVAN HARNESS, adoptee and author of Bitterroot: A Salish Memoir of Transracial Adoption
“Adoption Unfiltered is a blazing, insightful, expansive, and informative triumph centering the lives of those touched by the complexities of adoption. The trio of authors present a masterwork that blends the perspectives and challenges faced by adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents in a way that holds their shared humanity while challenging existing systems in adoption.”
—TONY HYNES, adoptee, author of The Son With Two Moms, and training specialist at Center for Adoption Support and Education (C.A.S.E.)
“Finally … a truth-telling book that validates the lived trauma of adoption and shows a way out of the suffering through truth, courage, grieving, and change. The stories are moving, the analysis is sound, the compassion is comforting, and the call for change is clear. We must not and cannot remain unmoved. Adoption Unfiltered is a must-read for all who care, whether personally involved in a story of adoption or not.”
—GORDON NEUFELD, PHD, clinical psychologist, founder of the Neufeld Institute, and bestselling author of Hold On to Your Kids
“Adoption Unfiltered casts a clear, unflinching eye on the complexities, inequities, and failures of the adoption system, pointing to the need for a more ethical practice that centers the wellbeing of adoptees while considering all members of the adoption constellation.”
—B.K. JACKSON, editor, Severance Magazine
“Adoption Unfiltered belongs in the hands of all adoptive parents and those considering becoming one, natural parents who have endured adoption’s loss, adult adoptees who are on the journey of putting themselves together—and everyone working in the field of adoption. Expect to be surprised.”
—LORRAINE DUSKY, birth parent and author of Hole in My Heart and Birthmark
“Writing across their own divergent standpoints as adoptee, birth parent, and adoptive parent, the authors create a unique space for honing skills in listening and communicating across difference—essential for today’s often polarizing family communicative environment.”
—ELIZABETH A. SUTER, PHD, adoptive parent, professor of Communication Studies at University of Denver, adoption researcher, and adoption educator
“Adoption Unfiltered provides a clear-eyed look at adoption from those most impacted—adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents. I appreciated that they neither overly praise nor condemn the institution of adoption. Rather, they allow space for both the beauty and pain, aiming to make life better for this current generation of adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents.”
—DAWN DAVENPORT, adoptive parent and executive director of Creating a Family
“Brilliantly written, Adoption Unfiltered may not be an easy read (because of the way it challenges old ideas), but it skillfully and thoroughly probes the societal narrative about adoption, leaving the reader to deeply re-examine their own beliefs. Adoption Unfiltered should be mandatory reading for anyone contemplating entry into adoption, as well as for their friends, co-workers, and family members.”
—KATIE BIRON, foster/adoptive parent; creator of the Family Connections Program™ and author of The Love Tree
“Adoption Unfiltered is a book we must gather around in the adoption community so we can share among the general public. Adoption is still largely misunderstood and the system of adoption in the U.S. is in need of an overhaul. It is clear from the first pages of Adoption Unfiltered that the voices within it are raising ALL the issues that should be considered as we move forward in evolving adoption in America and elsewhere.”
—REBECCA RICARDO, LCSW, adoptee, birth parent, and executive director of C2Adopt
“Adoption Unfiltered is a well-researched tapestry of adoptee, birth/first family, and adoptive parent voices, experiences, and resources expertly woven into a pathway of hope for future generations. The trio of authors have created a space for compassionate truism while dispelling myths with the hard facts about the complexities of adoption.”
—MARCIE J KEITHLEY, first parent, co-founder/executive leader of National Association of Adoptees and Parents (NAAP), and author of The Shoebox Effect: Transforming Pain Into Fortitude and Purpose
“It’s never been more important for all parties of the adoption constellation to come to the table to craft essential reform. Change can’t happen, however, until we all have a better understanding of each other’s perspectives. Adoption Unfiltered has the ability to do just that—break down the walls to start candid conversations.”
—REBECCA VAHLE, MEd, adoptive parent; founder and executive director of Family to Family Support Network
“Adoption Unfiltered is not only an excellent resource, it is a needed, invaluable resource for every conversation and consideration of adoption—past, present, and future … As an adoptive parent who has felt the lack of substance and over-emphasis on adoptive parent voices and perspectives for far too long, this book deserves to lead and take up wide space.”
—TASHA JUN, adoptive parent and author of Tell Me the Dream Again: Reflections on Family, Ethnicity, and the Sacred Work of Belonging
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Order at Bookshop.org
 OR
Order on Amazon

The post Adoptee-Centered Relationships appeared first on Adoption Unfiltered.

]]> 714 Problematic Behaviors of Adoptive Parents https://adoptionunfiltered.com/podcast/problematic-behaviors-of-adoptive-parents/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=problematic-behaviors-of-adoptive-parents Thu, 24 Mar 2022 16:00:00 +0000 https://www.adoptionunfiltered.com/?post_type=podcast&p=708 Adoptee Astrid Castro of Adoption Mosaic, joins Adoptee Sara Easterly, Birth Mom Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard, and Adoptive Mom Lori Holden to discuss some of

The post Problematic Behaviors of Adoptive Parents appeared first on Adoption Unfiltered.

]]>

Adoptee Astrid Castro of Adoption Mosaic, joins Adoptee Sara Easterly, Birth Mom Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard, and Adoptive Mom Lori Holden to discuss some of the problematic behaviors of adoptive parents. Listen in to understand the unintended effects adoptive parents sometimes have on others in their adoption triad, perhaps without even knowing. (Don’t worry. We plan to cover other problematic behaviors in future discussions.)

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Listen

Read the Comments

“What an IMPORTANT conversation!! This is what it looks like to bring our community (adoptees, a birth mom and an adoptive parent) in the same space to have tough conversations about adoption.”
—Astrid Castro, Adoption Mosaic

Episode List

Load More

Sara, Kelsey, and Lori reveal candid perspectives on adoption—along with those of 50 other adoptees, birth parents, adoptive parents, and allies—in their recent book, Adoption Unfiltered, now available by Rowman & Littlefield.

“Easterly, Vander Vliet Ranyard, and Holden model beautifully in Adoption Unfiltered the complexities of the Both/And of adoption.”
—ASTRID CASTRO, adoptee and CEO/Founder of Adoption Mosaic
“The rare opportunity to experience an adoptee, birth mother, and adoptive mother communicating honestly and compassionately offers a much-needed model for those navigating the inevitable tensions and joys that exist in adoption.”
—ANGELA TUCKER, adoptee and author of You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity and Transracial Adoption
“Nuanced and thought-provoking, this book should be required reading for everyone, from adoptees and their families to adoption professionals and policymakers. This book is a true gem that offers a unique perspective on adoption and illuminates the way forward for understanding, healing, and growth.”
—BETSIE NORRIS, adoptee; founder and executive director of Adoption Network Cleveland
“As both scholarly examination and deeply personal narrative, this is a carefully crafted, highly respectful, broadly readable examination of adoption. This is a meeting of minds, hearts, advocacy, and empathy. There’s just so much here!”
—GLENN MOREY, adoptee and creator of the Side by Side project and the New York Times Op Doc and Audible Original Given Away
“Adoption Unfiltered is what happens when people really speak up and listen to each other in community and invites us to embrace its lessons of enlightenment and the possibility of personal and systemic change. This authentic, dynamic, and unique work is an important contribution to the adoption canon.”
—SUZANNE BACHNER, adoptee; author and director of the award-winning play The Good Adoptee
“As a person adopted in the 1960s, this is the kind of ground-breaking book I wish my adoptive parents had read. It does not shy away from the harsh realities of what adoption truly means to everyone. The pages are full of honest accounts of the emotional impact to all parties. I identified with it all and read each word with relief that this factual book is now informing our culture.”
—ZARA PHILLIPS, adoptee, singer, songwriter, playwright, and author of Somebody’s Daughter
“I highly recommend Adoption Unfiltered for anyone but especially for the adoptee and their parents, biological and adoptive—and it should be mandatory reading in adoption education and for anyone considering adoption, as it will help prevent the ongoing trauma we adoptees typically experience in most adoptions to date.”
—LYNELLE LONG, adoptee and founding director of InterCountry Adoptee Voices (ICAV)
“Adoption Unfiltered is the most important book of our modern adoption generation. With grief and loss existing in a space with hope and healing, we finally get to see a glimpse of those lived experiences through adoption in a way that is relatable, educational, and tangible. We finally know better, and this book is doing better.”
—ASHLEY MITCHELL, birth mother and founder of Lifetime Healing Foundation
“Adoption Unfiltered is required reading for anyone who is part of the adoption constellation, including the central core triad. Using voices and perspectives from adoptees, birth parents, and adopting parents, this book reveals the inner thoughts, challenges, and possibilities each have experienced within themselves and the American culture, providing a map to navigate these complicated and complex roles.”
—SUSAN DEVAN HARNESS, adoptee and author of Bitterroot: A Salish Memoir of Transracial Adoption
“Adoption Unfiltered is a blazing, insightful, expansive, and informative triumph centering the lives of those touched by the complexities of adoption. The trio of authors present a masterwork that blends the perspectives and challenges faced by adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents in a way that holds their shared humanity while challenging existing systems in adoption.”
—TONY HYNES, adoptee, author of The Son With Two Moms, and training specialist at Center for Adoption Support and Education (C.A.S.E.)
“Finally … a truth-telling book that validates the lived trauma of adoption and shows a way out of the suffering through truth, courage, grieving, and change. The stories are moving, the analysis is sound, the compassion is comforting, and the call for change is clear. We must not and cannot remain unmoved. Adoption Unfiltered is a must-read for all who care, whether personally involved in a story of adoption or not.”
—GORDON NEUFELD, PHD, clinical psychologist, founder of the Neufeld Institute, and bestselling author of Hold On to Your Kids
“Adoption Unfiltered casts a clear, unflinching eye on the complexities, inequities, and failures of the adoption system, pointing to the need for a more ethical practice that centers the wellbeing of adoptees while considering all members of the adoption constellation.”
—B.K. JACKSON, editor, Severance Magazine
“Adoption Unfiltered belongs in the hands of all adoptive parents and those considering becoming one, natural parents who have endured adoption’s loss, adult adoptees who are on the journey of putting themselves together—and everyone working in the field of adoption. Expect to be surprised.”
—LORRAINE DUSKY, birth parent and author of Hole in My Heart and Birthmark
“Writing across their own divergent standpoints as adoptee, birth parent, and adoptive parent, the authors create a unique space for honing skills in listening and communicating across difference—essential for today’s often polarizing family communicative environment.”
—ELIZABETH A. SUTER, PHD, adoptive parent, professor of Communication Studies at University of Denver, adoption researcher, and adoption educator
“Adoption Unfiltered provides a clear-eyed look at adoption from those most impacted—adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents. I appreciated that they neither overly praise nor condemn the institution of adoption. Rather, they allow space for both the beauty and pain, aiming to make life better for this current generation of adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents.”
—DAWN DAVENPORT, adoptive parent and executive director of Creating a Family
“Brilliantly written, Adoption Unfiltered may not be an easy read (because of the way it challenges old ideas), but it skillfully and thoroughly probes the societal narrative about adoption, leaving the reader to deeply re-examine their own beliefs. Adoption Unfiltered should be mandatory reading for anyone contemplating entry into adoption, as well as for their friends, co-workers, and family members.”
—KATIE BIRON, foster/adoptive parent; creator of the Family Connections Program™ and author of The Love Tree
“Adoption Unfiltered is a book we must gather around in the adoption community so we can share among the general public. Adoption is still largely misunderstood and the system of adoption in the U.S. is in need of an overhaul. It is clear from the first pages of Adoption Unfiltered that the voices within it are raising ALL the issues that should be considered as we move forward in evolving adoption in America and elsewhere.”
—REBECCA RICARDO, LCSW, adoptee, birth parent, and executive director of C2Adopt
“Adoption Unfiltered is a well-researched tapestry of adoptee, birth/first family, and adoptive parent voices, experiences, and resources expertly woven into a pathway of hope for future generations. The trio of authors have created a space for compassionate truism while dispelling myths with the hard facts about the complexities of adoption.”
—MARCIE J KEITHLEY, first parent, co-founder/executive leader of National Association of Adoptees and Parents (NAAP), and author of The Shoebox Effect: Transforming Pain Into Fortitude and Purpose
“It’s never been more important for all parties of the adoption constellation to come to the table to craft essential reform. Change can’t happen, however, until we all have a better understanding of each other’s perspectives. Adoption Unfiltered has the ability to do just that—break down the walls to start candid conversations.”
—REBECCA VAHLE, MEd, adoptive parent; founder and executive director of Family to Family Support Network
“Adoption Unfiltered is not only an excellent resource, it is a needed, invaluable resource for every conversation and consideration of adoption—past, present, and future … As an adoptive parent who has felt the lack of substance and over-emphasis on adoptive parent voices and perspectives for far too long, this book deserves to lead and take up wide space.”
—TASHA JUN, adoptive parent and author of Tell Me the Dream Again: Reflections on Family, Ethnicity, and the Sacred Work of Belonging
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]]> 708 Why Talk Together? https://adoptionunfiltered.com/podcast/why-talk-together/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=why-talk-together Sun, 06 Mar 2022 15:51:00 +0000 https://www.adoptionunfiltered.com/?post_type=podcast&p=702 An adoptee (Sara Easterly) a birth mom (Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard), and an adoptive mom (Lori Holden) address an elephant in the room that appeared

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An adoptee (Sara Easterly) a birth mom (Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard), and an adoptive mom (Lori Holden) address an elephant in the room that appeared from our last talk on naming newborns: why SHOULD adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents talk and listen to each other?

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“I look forward to listening!”
—Barbara

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Sara, Kelsey, and Lori reveal candid perspectives on adoption—along with those of 50 other adoptees, birth parents, adoptive parents, and allies—in their recent book, Adoption Unfiltered, now available by Rowman & Littlefield.

“Easterly, Vander Vliet Ranyard, and Holden model beautifully in Adoption Unfiltered the complexities of the Both/And of adoption.”
—ASTRID CASTRO, adoptee and CEO/Founder of Adoption Mosaic
“The rare opportunity to experience an adoptee, birth mother, and adoptive mother communicating honestly and compassionately offers a much-needed model for those navigating the inevitable tensions and joys that exist in adoption.”
—ANGELA TUCKER, adoptee and author of You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity and Transracial Adoption
“Nuanced and thought-provoking, this book should be required reading for everyone, from adoptees and their families to adoption professionals and policymakers. This book is a true gem that offers a unique perspective on adoption and illuminates the way forward for understanding, healing, and growth.”
—BETSIE NORRIS, adoptee; founder and executive director of Adoption Network Cleveland
“As both scholarly examination and deeply personal narrative, this is a carefully crafted, highly respectful, broadly readable examination of adoption. This is a meeting of minds, hearts, advocacy, and empathy. There’s just so much here!”
—GLENN MOREY, adoptee and creator of the Side by Side project and the New York Times Op Doc and Audible Original Given Away
“Adoption Unfiltered is what happens when people really speak up and listen to each other in community and invites us to embrace its lessons of enlightenment and the possibility of personal and systemic change. This authentic, dynamic, and unique work is an important contribution to the adoption canon.”
—SUZANNE BACHNER, adoptee; author and director of the award-winning play The Good Adoptee
“As a person adopted in the 1960s, this is the kind of ground-breaking book I wish my adoptive parents had read. It does not shy away from the harsh realities of what adoption truly means to everyone. The pages are full of honest accounts of the emotional impact to all parties. I identified with it all and read each word with relief that this factual book is now informing our culture.”
—ZARA PHILLIPS, adoptee, singer, songwriter, playwright, and author of Somebody’s Daughter
“I highly recommend Adoption Unfiltered for anyone but especially for the adoptee and their parents, biological and adoptive—and it should be mandatory reading in adoption education and for anyone considering adoption, as it will help prevent the ongoing trauma we adoptees typically experience in most adoptions to date.”
—LYNELLE LONG, adoptee and founding director of InterCountry Adoptee Voices (ICAV)
“Adoption Unfiltered is the most important book of our modern adoption generation. With grief and loss existing in a space with hope and healing, we finally get to see a glimpse of those lived experiences through adoption in a way that is relatable, educational, and tangible. We finally know better, and this book is doing better.”
—ASHLEY MITCHELL, birth mother and founder of Lifetime Healing Foundation
“Adoption Unfiltered is required reading for anyone who is part of the adoption constellation, including the central core triad. Using voices and perspectives from adoptees, birth parents, and adopting parents, this book reveals the inner thoughts, challenges, and possibilities each have experienced within themselves and the American culture, providing a map to navigate these complicated and complex roles.”
—SUSAN DEVAN HARNESS, adoptee and author of Bitterroot: A Salish Memoir of Transracial Adoption
“Adoption Unfiltered is a blazing, insightful, expansive, and informative triumph centering the lives of those touched by the complexities of adoption. The trio of authors present a masterwork that blends the perspectives and challenges faced by adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents in a way that holds their shared humanity while challenging existing systems in adoption.”
—TONY HYNES, adoptee, author of The Son With Two Moms, and training specialist at Center for Adoption Support and Education (C.A.S.E.)
“Finally … a truth-telling book that validates the lived trauma of adoption and shows a way out of the suffering through truth, courage, grieving, and change. The stories are moving, the analysis is sound, the compassion is comforting, and the call for change is clear. We must not and cannot remain unmoved. Adoption Unfiltered is a must-read for all who care, whether personally involved in a story of adoption or not.”
—GORDON NEUFELD, PHD, clinical psychologist, founder of the Neufeld Institute, and bestselling author of Hold On to Your Kids
“Adoption Unfiltered casts a clear, unflinching eye on the complexities, inequities, and failures of the adoption system, pointing to the need for a more ethical practice that centers the wellbeing of adoptees while considering all members of the adoption constellation.”
—B.K. JACKSON, editor, Severance Magazine
“Adoption Unfiltered belongs in the hands of all adoptive parents and those considering becoming one, natural parents who have endured adoption’s loss, adult adoptees who are on the journey of putting themselves together—and everyone working in the field of adoption. Expect to be surprised.”
—LORRAINE DUSKY, birth parent and author of Hole in My Heart and Birthmark
“Writing across their own divergent standpoints as adoptee, birth parent, and adoptive parent, the authors create a unique space for honing skills in listening and communicating across difference—essential for today’s often polarizing family communicative environment.”
—ELIZABETH A. SUTER, PHD, adoptive parent, professor of Communication Studies at University of Denver, adoption researcher, and adoption educator
“Adoption Unfiltered provides a clear-eyed look at adoption from those most impacted—adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents. I appreciated that they neither overly praise nor condemn the institution of adoption. Rather, they allow space for both the beauty and pain, aiming to make life better for this current generation of adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents.”
—DAWN DAVENPORT, adoptive parent and executive director of Creating a Family
“Brilliantly written, Adoption Unfiltered may not be an easy read (because of the way it challenges old ideas), but it skillfully and thoroughly probes the societal narrative about adoption, leaving the reader to deeply re-examine their own beliefs. Adoption Unfiltered should be mandatory reading for anyone contemplating entry into adoption, as well as for their friends, co-workers, and family members.”
—KATIE BIRON, foster/adoptive parent; creator of the Family Connections Program™ and author of The Love Tree
“Adoption Unfiltered is a book we must gather around in the adoption community so we can share among the general public. Adoption is still largely misunderstood and the system of adoption in the U.S. is in need of an overhaul. It is clear from the first pages of Adoption Unfiltered that the voices within it are raising ALL the issues that should be considered as we move forward in evolving adoption in America and elsewhere.”
—REBECCA RICARDO, LCSW, adoptee, birth parent, and executive director of C2Adopt
“Adoption Unfiltered is a well-researched tapestry of adoptee, birth/first family, and adoptive parent voices, experiences, and resources expertly woven into a pathway of hope for future generations. The trio of authors have created a space for compassionate truism while dispelling myths with the hard facts about the complexities of adoption.”
—MARCIE J KEITHLEY, first parent, co-founder/executive leader of National Association of Adoptees and Parents (NAAP), and author of The Shoebox Effect: Transforming Pain Into Fortitude and Purpose
“It’s never been more important for all parties of the adoption constellation to come to the table to craft essential reform. Change can’t happen, however, until we all have a better understanding of each other’s perspectives. Adoption Unfiltered has the ability to do just that—break down the walls to start candid conversations.”
—REBECCA VAHLE, MEd, adoptive parent; founder and executive director of Family to Family Support Network
“Adoption Unfiltered is not only an excellent resource, it is a needed, invaluable resource for every conversation and consideration of adoption—past, present, and future … As an adoptive parent who has felt the lack of substance and over-emphasis on adoptive parent voices and perspectives for far too long, this book deserves to lead and take up wide space.”
—TASHA JUN, adoptive parent and author of Tell Me the Dream Again: Reflections on Family, Ethnicity, and the Sacred Work of Belonging
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Order at Bookshop.org
 OR
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The post Why Talk Together? appeared first on Adoption Unfiltered.

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